Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
