turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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