So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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