I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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