Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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