I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
