How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
4 words: hood of his car
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
