I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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