im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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