She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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