I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
