are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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