Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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