So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
