If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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