Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
