Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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