It's Friday. Sex?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
