It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
