i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize