I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
