32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We have started to decorate penises.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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