Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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