Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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