I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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