We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
