; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize