i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
