Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize