i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
