Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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