You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
