We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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