I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Randomize
