my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's shark week go big or go home
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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