dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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