I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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