I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your penis caused this!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
