just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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