Define "chronic" masturbator.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
