I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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