i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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