She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
