ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
