I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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