in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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