and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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