Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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