Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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