Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
