If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Enjoy the penises
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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