That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
