david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
