i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize