just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
