grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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