Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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