Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize